woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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