ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
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