i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
