Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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