Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
i would one night stand the shit outta him
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
