trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
We're too hungover to prance.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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