he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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