He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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