Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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