That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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