he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize