I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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