i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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