I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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