I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
