I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
