I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
