return my video game
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
