I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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