I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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