I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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