I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
