I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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