drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Randomize
