We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Randomize
