Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
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