we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
