and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Randomize
