so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Your shirt... Was in my pants
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
