At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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