He asked to "fluff my boner.."
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Randomize
