Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
