sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
My vagina is officially offended.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
