she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
