a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
