Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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