i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
