Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
