i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
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Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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