Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
My vagina just clenched in fear
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