I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
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I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
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WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
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