You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're a waste of cheezeits
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize