White coat. Heels.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
i think my cat just said my name.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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