See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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