you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
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