i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Randomize