I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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