wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Are my feet made of real feet?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
