If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
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