she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
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