Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
