you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
My underwear smells like fireworks.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
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