How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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