ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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