Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
