When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
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