My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Randomize
