maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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