Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
