Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
