I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
