I got her a Nickelback box set.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
there is puke in my bra ... again
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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