Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
