how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
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