Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
