Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize
