I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
