Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize