he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
